Is it okay for guys to be emotional? Don't men have feelings? How do you vent our your feelings as a guy? Are you not supposed to have an emotional side? Well, I do not really know the answers to these questions. What I do know is, I don't believe in the whole 'Men don't cry' thing. Men do cry, and yes I do cry too. Crying is an emotion, and if you cannot express that, maybe something is wrong with you.
I am pretty bad at keeping friends, I feel I don't take enough efforts to "maintain" the friendship. I never really understood what "maintaining" a friendship meant. I always believed that if you like or love someone, set them free, if they feel the same way for you, that feeling will keep you bonded. This maybe the reason I never really had a lot of friends, neither in school, nor in college and not even now. I always had only a handful of friends at any phase in life. I don't know if it was strange or unconventional since I used to feel jealous of people who had large groups of friends, party friends, school friends, college friends, workplace friends. Was I anti social? Maybe not.
It was always like, if I make a new friend, I would want to hang out and talk with him a lot, up to a point where we both would feel that we know almost everything about each other. By my experiences, people usually did not like it. Maybe they thought I was clingy, or one of those 'forever alone' types who would want to hangout every single day. But it wasn't that. I was just different in the way of connecting to people and making new friends. Some of them took it well, some of them did not and gradually stopped being friends.
Same is my case with letting people go. I value people a lot to just let them go. Till today, I have never let any person in my life go. There might be many with whom I don't talk now, but that is just because of the communication gap, and not because we let our friendship go. I cannot imagine saying to someone that I don't want to see you anymore, or our relationship is done. I feel too guilty to do that. I might say some things when I am mad at someone, but I feel bad for them, and I apologize in a couple of hours when my anger's gone. Straight to the point, I have difficulty losing people and letting relationships go. People tell me that its better to sometimes let things go, but I just cannot! I keep pondering over what could have gone wrong and what could I have possibly done that jeopardized the relationship. I get attached to people pretty quickly and expect the same from them. These expectations fail me. I become upset when I don't get the same attention that I give to that person, in return. I have even let my self respect go in some cases, to maintain a good relationship with the person.
Is getting attached to people my problem? Maybe its just the way I am built!
